He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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