i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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