Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
