i jhust puked up my retainher.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
