she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
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I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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