i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My breasts were aching with rage.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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