I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
