whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
