Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
