a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We have so much sex to catch up on
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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