Non-Jews are for practice
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
