then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
