woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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