As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
