I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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