i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
