i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
