worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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