At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
