Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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