So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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