yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
