we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she told me i tasted like america
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
