If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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