this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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