I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
