it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
