if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
