I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
