I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
