I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it penis luge time yet?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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