Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
