After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
