Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i think i just lost a toe
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
