Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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