pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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