I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
