Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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