Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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