at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Walk of Shame today included voting.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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