He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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