New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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