This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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