I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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