and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
