It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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