hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
