Don't make out with my wife yet
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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