there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
