Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
