dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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