In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
