Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
