I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
