Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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