i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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