So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
worst night to have a conscience
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
