I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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