AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
