Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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