All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
